I know that a lot of people take advantage of the New Year to try a new eating regime: that was my case last year, when I decided to do my first Whole30. And while I’ve since become a total convert, there are certainly a few things that are strange about this way of eating, at least at first.
Whole30 treats everyone differently: some feel like they can do anything – the so-called Tiger Blood effect. Some just feel deprived (and especially feel the raring head of the Sugar Dragon). Some feel fine, but not as great as they’d hoped, as was the case with little sister.
As far as I was concerned, my relationship with Whole30 went through three basic phases.
Phase 1: This. Is. Awesome.
I guess I must have been eating pretty clean before, because this isn’t all that hard! Cheese? Cake? No, thank you! I’m eating clean! And it feels so good, I don’t even crave that stuff anymore! I’m gonna try this 17-ingredient energy ball for breakfast tomorrow morning, because I’m committed, and excited! Yay Whole30!
Phase 2: The Starving-Full Paradox
I’m starving. I want to eat something. Anything.
Just not eggs. No more eggs. If I look at another egg, I’m going to barf.
Sugar Dragon whispers: “CHOCOLATE.”
Me: Shut up.
*Googles Whole30 breakfast ideas.* Hmm… squash for breakfast. That’s kind of weird, but it’s just crazy enough to work.
But it takes 20 minutes to cook. I guess I’ll eat five apples while I’m waiting.
*Ten seconds later*
I don’t ever want to eat anything ever again. All food smells terrible.
*Ten seconds later*
My stomach is digesting itself.
Phase 3: Unapologetically weird.
The leftover steak? I ate it for breakfast. Don’t touch those hard-boiled eggs, I need them for a snack. I whack them on lampposts and peel them in the street, and then I chase it with nitrate-free ham, which I carry around in a baggie. I buy eggs in flats of 30 and eat pure almond butter for energy. Oh, and yes, that smell is me.
As for the post-Whole30 feelings… well, that’s why I eat mostly paleo now.
While I never got the Tiger Blood effect that so many people talk about, I do feel the repercussions – almost immediately – of eating anything non-Whole30 compliant. (Except beans. Beans are good.)
The good news is that the planning and stressing and hunger management of my first Whole30s are gone, now. I barely even think about eating compliant now; it just happens naturally… Even though the Country Boy doesn’t eat Whole30 at all.
When it comes to burger night, for instance, it’s no skin off my back to make the boy a full-on cheeseburger – complete with (store-bought) bun, and to enjoy this version on my own.
Don’t be fooled by the way the sweet potato looks: it is not nor will it ever be a bun substitute. This is a fork-and-knife burger. But it’s delicious.
Paleo Burgers (serves 2)
1 tablespoon ghee or duck fat
1 onion, frenched
2 slices sweet potato (use the rest to make sweet potato toast in the morning)
1 teaspoon ghee or duck fat
300 grams ground beef
1 tablespoon coconut aminos
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 tablespoon ghee or duck fat
1 tomato, sliced
salt and pepper, to taste
Melt the ghee or duck fat in a skillet, and add the onion and a pinch of salt. Sauté, stirring occasionally, until deeply caramelized, about 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, preheat the oven (you could also use a toaster oven, if you’ve got one) to 400 degrees. Brush the sweet potato slices with the fat, and roast for 15 minutes, until cooked through.
When the onions and sweet potatoes are ready, combine the ground beef, onion powder, and salt and pepper to taste. Make two patties.
Heat the ghee or duck fat in the same pan you used to cook the onion, and add the patties. Cook about 3-4 minutes per side.
Place a round of sweet potato on each plate. Top with a burger patty, a few slices of tomato, and the onions. Enjoy!