I kind of accidentally keep forcing my French friends to learn English.
I’m not sure many of them are complaining now — after all, that’s how the Country Boy ended up learning English and ultimately began working for an American company –, but I’ll admit that it’s a weird thing to do. Speaking is about communicating — why would I choose to speak a language that my interlocutor doesn’t speak? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?
I don’t remember the first time I did it, but I do remember the first time I did it at work. It was one of my first days, and the second that I realized that my new colleague — now my friend — spoke even the smallest bit of English (it actually proved to be quite a bit more than he let on at first), I latched on and spoke almost exclusively English to him whenever we weren’t talking about work. Now, English has become our de facto “fun” language, whereas French is our work language. His English is now excellent, by the way, and since we no longer work together, moments where we speak French to one another are few and far between.
But I’ve done the same thing with friends who barely speak English at all. One of my best French friends took German as her first langue vivante in school, which means that she has just a few crumbs of English. And while she’s a bit too shy to speak English to my face, in our nearly-constant Google Chat stream, the prevailing language is English, mistakes be damned.
When both people are bilingual, anything goes. I have several fully bilingual friends here in Paris, particularly in my writing group, and while we usually speak to one another in English, given the context in which we met, I know that the moment that a predominantly francophone person joins our conversation, we can quickly switch languages and be no worse for the wear.
But the thing that’s strange about these two situations in particular — and even more, with my relationship with the Country Boy — is that in all three cases, my French is far stronger than the English of the other person. There is absolutely no good reason for me to force any of these people to make the effort to speak to me in English when it’s so much easier for me to speak in French.
So why do I do it?
There are a million reasons, probably: laziness, the fact that most of my work is in English, so it has become more and more difficult to force my brain to switch to French, the fact that I mostly read in English, so I lack vocabulary in French for a large majority of my most interesting conversation topics…
But I think the real reason is that I still don’t feel quite like myself in French. From my ex, the Canadian, who once told me I was “mean” in French, to kids in Paziols who noticed that my demeanor was sweeter in English, to friends who only realize that I can crack a joke when we start to speak in my mother tongue, there’s something in my personality that just doesn’t translate to my second language. After nearly ten years, I wonder, sometimes, if this will ever change.
Probably not — I keep shooting myself in the foot by forcing everyone I could potentially practice English with to speak to me in French.
Kale, Chickpea, and Quinoa-Stuffed Red Kuri Squash (serves 2)
1 red kuri squash
For the pickled onions:
1 red onion
1 teaspoon honey
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
For the stuffing:
1 cup canned chickpeas
1/2 cup tricolor quinoa
6 large kale leaves, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon olive oil
salt and pepper
Make the pickled onions. Combine the vinegar and honey in a saucepan, and heat until the honey melts. Add the thinly sliced onion and bring to a simmer. Remove from the heat and allow to sit for at least 20 minutes. This can also be prepared the night before and stored in the fridge.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Halve the squash and bake, cut-side down, for 20-30 minutes, until tender.
Cook the quinoa according to package directions. Drain and set aside.
Heat the olive oil in a pan and add the garlic. Cook until just fragrant, 1 minute. Add the chopped kale, the quinoa, and the chickpeas. Cook until the kale is wilted and the chickpeas are warmed through.
Stuff the squash with the mixture. Serve with the pickled onions on the side.